In Shadows

After… two months of not posting… (blows the dust off the screen.)

On Azrael’s Wings is available for purchase. You can get it from a number of places.

The book has about fourteen new chapters, so those of you willing to buy a copy will have a bunch new material to read. Enjoy!

To the few of you who have emailed me in the last month, my apologies.  I’ve been somewhat busy here, and kept them safe in order to respond.  But my email program hiccuped yesterday and now they’re all gone!

Please, if you see this, drop me another email!

I’ve been fighting with a 60 gig hard drive upgrade for my iPod. (It’s won.) The first one was defective, the second one refuses to go into drive mode. Don’t fix what ain’t broke. It would have been nice to have the extra twenty gigs on my 40 gig 5th generation, but apparently it ain’t gonna happen.

Heard from my tech editor. She should be getting in touch with me for On Azrael’s Wings soon. That’ll be the last of the edits, unless my publisher springs something on me at the last minute. Last I heard, it’ll be out in November.

The wife started school last Monday. It was a blissful day off for me - six hours of silence and solitude. Cats weren’t too happy, because I cleaned the hel out of the apartment, vacuuming included.

Lifestyle changes are still going well. New weight total is 14 down and counting. Yay! I’m thinking I deserve a banana split when I make it to 20…

Got to see most the season premieres I wanted: Heroes, Bionic Woman, Journeyman, Stargate Atlantis, and Chuck. Hadn’t planned on seeing Chuck, but a fellah at work said it was pretty good so I gave it a shot. I don’t normally watch Stargate Atlantis, either, but Amanda Tapping (Sam Carter) is transferring to that show after Stargate SG-1 finished last season. (What can I say? I don’t crush on blondes often, but I really like Carter!)

I’ve worked my way through the last two chapters of Orphan Maker. POV remains the same but I’ve corrected my original error. Loomis has spent years bein adviser, silently bringing about what she thinks needs doing for her people. My mistake was portraying her with sudden confidence and capability at the town meeting. Hence, I stalled out on what came next.

This time I’ve brought in other townies that she’s manipulated into putting her ideas forth at the big monthly meeting. She still steps up to the plate where necessary to clarify or direct, but she’s not the center of attention the entire time. The mayor is perfectly aware that these ideas are hers and not the people speaking them or carrying the motions. But for a woman who was brutally attacked and raped five years ago, I can’t imagine she’d enjoy the limelight.

The next chapter of Iditarod is going well enough. Like I mentioned in my last post, writing at work is non-existent unless I can get that first hour of scribbling in… and that’s when the boss is floating in and out of the office. Oh, well. Saturdays and Sundays are pretty good.

Next week I’ve an appointment with my doctor. She told me to come in ‘in a month or two to discuss treatment’ about my cholesterol levels. Since then I’ve lost eleven pounds (hopefully twelve by tonight!) and changed my diet considerably. Here’s hoping there won’t be another pill added to my already growing list of daily medications.

1) If my supervisor is working day shift, I can guarantee I won’t get any writing done during the afternoon. Not because she’d stop me, but the office is a disaster with her ongoing projects. I have to clear my work space, then get out of it so she can finish her security log, and then she’s in and out of the office for another hour or so.

2) I can’t focus on a handwritten story if I use purple ink. Dunno why. I think writing in all red ink would have the same affect. I can’t get into the scene that way. Weird, huh?

Orphan Maker - I’ve uploaded all of it to Basecamp. Rereading it has given me some ideas to work on. I’ve removed a chapter from the line up to be placed elsewhere, just not certain where, yet. Since the novel is beginning to go someplace I hadn’t planned, it’s going to run a bit longer, and that particular chapter is all flashback. It can be put anywhere, so long as it remains in sequence with the other flashback scenes.

Iditarod - Still working on the next scene. I’m going to try to get it typed in the next hour before I head off to work. (No supervisor today, so perhaps I’ll get the scene finished today.)

Last night I got a paragraph in on Ulina Mokupuni, the collaboration. I also wrote about two hundred fifty words on a new scene for Iditarod, showing the conversation between Lainey Hughes and Scotch Fuller’s dad as she makes initial contact about the article she’s writing.

So far today I’ve transferred notes and twelve chapters of Orphan Maker to my Basecamp project. I really had a hankering to work on it last night, but couldn’t since I hadn’t finished moving the data. (Still haven’t, but maybe by tomorrow.)

It’s anybody’s guess what I’ll do during my lunch break tonight.

I’ve been cautious the last couple of weeks, but I think I can say I’m on my way back from my mental vacation. At least my muse has made herself available for a change. I’m beginning to feel the excitement of crafting or editing a storyline now. Thank gods!

A friend and I planned to write a story this summer while she was out of college. I did some research on collaboration software, something that we could both access online from wherever we were. I found Basecamp, which gives you one free project. Our brainstorming was decent, and I upgraded to the Personal account within the day. Our story is set in the cyberpunk genre, and fits very neatly between the old CyberEpic and the stalled, upcoming Kou Itten I’d been working on.

Last week, I upgraded another level to the Basic account. Part of my problem has been all these ideas and current WIPs stewing around in my head. I’m having trouble focusing on any one thing these days. By putting all my current projects into Basecamp, they’re all readily available whether I’m home, at work, or at a coffee shop on the laptop. No more arriving at a destination, only to discover that the one story I really have a hankering to work on is on the wrong computer.

To that end, it seems to be working. Here’s a list of things I’ve accomplished the last couple of weeks. It’s not much compared to what I’ve done in the past, but it’s a hundred percent better than what I’ve been doing the last year or so…

1) Lichii Ba’Cho (CyberEpic rewrite, Apache for ‘Red Wolves’) - starting a new scene in chapter 2, making the whole thing grittier, fleshing it out more, getting rid of the info dumps in the original online version.

2) Ulina Mokupuni (cyberpunk collaboration) - wading through the first scene of chapter two so my partner can get to work on her scene. She’s back in school now, so don’t know how long it’ll take to get through that.

3) Sanguire (yes… the full on rewrite from scratch) - I’m beginning chapter three, scene one. Expanding scenes, focusing on Whiskey and the next week or so of her life. It’s going to be entirely from her POV, and she’ll be looking for the love of her life rather than the other way around.

4) Iditarod (rewrite and expansion) - my publisher is interested in this novel even if i double the size of it. Just finished writing chapter two, and will begin chapter three soon.

5) Slow Movin’ (short stories) - got two of them halfway completed. Both are on Basecamp so I can go in whenever the mood strikes.

I’ve started projects for both Orphan Maker and the third cyberpunk story, Kou Itten, but haven’t worked on either of them.

Here’s hoping I’m truly back! Thanks to everyone for being so patient with my absence!

It’s been awhile. Over two months since I’ve posted last. In deference to emails I’ve received from folks, I figured it’s about time I posted something here. I’m not wanting sympathy or anything — I’m a pretty happy camper these days, despite the lack of communication to you, faithful reader. So I’m not fishing for compliments or support. Just want you to know what’s going on with the long absence.

My motivation has withered on the vine, and I’m having trouble getting off my fat duff to do much of anything but work and sleep these days. I’ve been reminded by several folks that it’s been some time since I’ve posted any.  Many thanks to those who’ve asked after me (and apologies to everyone who reads this blog.) I live and am truly better than I’ve been in a good while.

For those not wanting to be bored to tears, you can move on. This post will be a loooooooooong one.

On Writing:

This is one of the major reasons for my absence online. Can’t very well update a writing blog if I ain’t writing, can I? It’d just be post after post saying, “Didn’t do anything today.”

I can’t seem to focus on anything. As noted before, I changed jobs at work to something less physically demanding. I’d hoped that’d give me the oomph to get something done. Didn’t happen. I wonder if part of the problem is that I’ve gotten out of the habit of writing. Nothing inspires, nothing motivates, no project jumps out to grab my attention. My previous job had lots of stress piled upon my shoulders. Now that it’s gone, I don’t have the gumption to do much of anything (let alone writing.)

I’m spending a lot of free time watching DVDs of TV shows and movies I’ve missed. I’ve worked through Lost, Carnivale, Battlestar Galactica, Heroes, Kyle XY, and am now going through Rome. I’m also reading a lot these days, both old favorites and new fiction and non-fiction. Updating my ‘Now Reading’ section will take a day or more, I’d bet.

I wonder if a lot of my issue is jet lag from the supervisor job I left. I’ve spent seven years eating, drinking, and sleeping work. Now that I’m not constantly dealing with work issues, my brain’s taking a much needed time out. I know from experience that it’ll swing back into action when it’s had enough lazing about.

Just wish it wouldn’t last so long.

Iditarod edits are on hold because I can’t get my poop in a group. Two new Slow Movin’ shorts are about a quarter completed. I AM forcing myself to slog through Azrael edits — that’s contracted work and I’m on a deadline.

On Hearing

Yet another reason for the lack of motivation, this is by far an excellent one!

My second surgery was on May 2nd. It was a success. One complication with a hole in my eardrum that no one noticed until they got in there. It’s been patched up and most the exterior healing is complete. I’ve been told it takes up to a year to fully heal from the surgery, which just means my balance issues aren’t all that unheard of.

I can hear in stereo! WOOT! There’s still some stubborn packing in the canal that I can’t get out. I’m due at the doctor’s office in August. If it ain’t out by then, they’ll remove it themselves.

My last hearing test (on the previously operated ear) showed my scores had gone up from profoundly deaf to mildly deaf. I’m seriously thinking this second surgery will show the same. Even with the packing, I hear well enough to locate people speaking behind me.

It’s been odd as I’ve relearned how to hear a second time. If I’m sitting with my left side facing a sound (the first surgery,) I have no problem identifying a sound. If I hear the same with the right, I can’t place it. Weird, but fascinating.

I’ve been listening to my music again. Anyone who has an iPod knows what the volume bar looks like on the screen. Before surgery, my volume was up to less than a quarter inch from the maximum. Now it’s the exact opposite. Whew.

Music I picked up fifteen years ago sounds so much clearer than I remember it being. Those ten years ago have more depth than I can recall. Anything I’ve picked up in the last five years is amazing! It’s like hearing them brand new all over again. I’m hearing nuances of instrument and voice that I’ve never heard before.

When I write, I plug into the iPod. I’ve got specific playlists for the stories I work on. But the music is distracting now. Rather than coast along and let the words flow, I’m constantly drawn to the tune as I hear things I didn’t know were there.

Hence another (joyful!) reason for the lack of writing motivation.

On Health

Coming off a cool, wet winter, so the joints ache a bit. Nothing big, just draining. I’d hate to think what it’d be like if I truly lived in Alaska like Scotch Fuller in Iditarod.

The arthritis is ever present, but doesn’t seem to be getting worse. Methatrexate seems to be doing the trick fairly well. I’ve had to start using Prilosec for the damage done to my stomach from ibuprofen. It was to be expected, really, and these days I don’t suffer from a constant low-grade heartburn.

Just had a full physical and all is well with one exception — cholesterol. * sigh * So I’ve just begun a pseudo Jenny Craig diet. Lots of veggies, less fat, using some information I’ve received from an acquaintance at work. My metabolism has increased, that’s for sure, but it’s still too early to see weight loss. And since my current job is far less physical than my last, I’ve taken to using the health club at work to get the exercise I need for both the weight loss and the rheumatoid arthritis. The goal is to lose forty pounds, and keep it off. Wish me luck.

On Work

As I said, it’s been fantastic! I’m no longer running a department or overseeing every meeting and banquet function the hotel brings in. What a relief! I’m sure my physical exam would have shown high blood pressure if I was still in that job!

Instead I’m in security. I’ve been in the department before. I worked with three of the four other officers eight years ago, so the transition was an easy one. I just had to retrain myself on standard procedures for emergencies, paperwork and the like.

It’s been interesting going from the constant ‘on-the-go’ mindset of Catering to the laid back Loss Prevention department. I keep looking for things I’m supposed to be doing, but there’s nothing there. I observe, I report, and I make myself available for emergencies. That’s about it.

So my mind wanders a lot. Previously, I’d spend the time thinking about whatever story I was writing, working out dialogue, character motivations, and plot points. Then I’d have at least a half hour to write. I’d hoped to do the same this time around, but most my time is spent in unproductive daydreams. Again, I think it’s a reaction to the last eight years of hel. As I work my way through the various meanderings of my mind, becoming bored with each one, I’ll eventually get back to where I used to be. Then the energy will be spent more productively.

On Artwork

Prior to writing, I was an airbrush artist. Those who’ve read the bio on this site know the story, but I’ll repeat it here.

We’d moved to a teeny loft apartment in 1998. There was, regrettably, no room for a studio. It was all packed away. Unable to create anything, I got hooked on the internet and Xena fanfic. When I’d read all I could, I began writing it. I have an overpowering need to create, and this filled the void in my life.

By the time we’d moved into a place big enough for a studio, I’d been diverted to writing instead of painting. I couldn’t focus on both, and my books were being published. So I decided to stay on the writing schtick for awhile to see what would come of it.

Then I began suffering from the rheumatoid arthritis. Eventually, I sold my compressor, airbrush and table. I knew there was no way my hands would ever allow me to paint again. It took too damned long (about two weeks) to complete a painting, and I couldn’t hold an airbrush with the proper tension on the controls for the time it would take.

But now I have a Wacom tablet, and digital art software. It takes less time to put out a piece, less physical effort. I can use both a mouse and a pen, so I can swap back and forth to ease the ache in my hands. I still have to learn the programs, though. That’s taking awhile. Photoshop is a very extensive program to figure out! Plus I have Bryce 5.5 for 3D backgrounds and ArtRage2 for drawing…

When I was doing art full time, I put out about $900 to buy the gear needed, and ended my first year a mere hundred bucks in the red. Then we moved, and it all went south.

Don’t worry, though. My motivation there is just as lacking as it is for the writing. LOL! The focus remains just as blurry.

On Winding Up

So, that’s where I’m at right now. Limbo. Nothing to be done for it but ride it through. Orycon occurs in November, and I’m hoping it’ll fire me up some, if I haven’t worked through this miasma between now and then.

I’ll try to keep up the blog entries more often. Hel, I’m not even reading that many blogs these days, so I’m completely out of touch with everyone. I have to get my head out of the clouds someday, right?

Take care. Thanks for the emails and comments. Feel free to comment here!

After discussing the sheer size of the Iditarod novel with my publisher, I’ve decided to go ahead and begin edits of the manuscript for submission.  I expect to add an additional hundred to hundred and fifty pages to the monster as I beef up the romance.  I also plan on giving the main characters more angst, more issues.  Lainey will be an active alcoholic rather than a recovering one.  Scotch will have her own deep, dark secret that she’ll have to get through.  Eventually, the race will teach them both to trust each other and their hearts.

I’ve also got a new iMac.  What a beauty!  I’ve been playing around with drawing on Artrage 2 and a Wacom tablet.  The idea of getting back into artwork is a good one…  I was an artist long before I was a writer, and am much more comfortable with airbrush and pencil than novels.  It’ll be a learning curve as I get used to drawing on the computer versus the visceral feel of paper and pencils.

Work is going well.  I’ve been able to focus more on the storylines, the ideas, the bits and pieces of artwork that spark in my mind.  It’s such a relief from the constant stress and worry from my previous position.  I still miss the guys, but I’m glad to be out of there.  I’m a lot happier.  To combat the RA, I spend three days a week at the hotel health club after my shift.  I’ve noticed some toning of my arms and thighs… maybe I’ll get rid of my pot belly, yet!

Surgery for my right ear has been scheduled in early May.  I’ve got an endoscopy next month to check the damage from five years of popping ibuprofen tablets, too.  My doctor put me on Prisolec, and OH MY GAWDS I feel so much better!  WOOT!

Hope everyone else is doing well.  (Especially you, Zero!)

23 February 2007: We are pleased to announce that D. Jordan Redhawk has signed her story, On Azrael’s Wings, to be published in Fall 2007.

Going great here!  As of now, I’m completely out of the Catering department at my hotel.  I’m a fully trained Loss Prevention officer instead.  Security is a wonderful department!  I’ve had time to THINK!

Just yesterday alone, I completely restructured Sanguire.  jrosestar, thanks for calling off the bet!  That entire novel is now defunct.  No more editing of it, and no submitting it to Tor.  The next one must be written, and sent instead.

I’ve also realized what my hang up was with Orphan Maker.  The Loomis I’ve created would never have acted that way in a joint town meeting.  Maybe when she was younger and more confident, but the trauma in her life broke her.  She wouldn’t stand up in front of everybody and their brother to discuss the way things should be going.  She’d take aside a member or two of the council and talk to them instead.

I set her up this way when the city kids arrived at the church — Loomis didn’t speak until someone demanded her opinion.  She holds a LOT of power with the townsfolk, but doesn’t use it often.  Doesn’t see that she has any.

So that last scene or two is going out the window (with the current version of Sanguire.)    What ELSE can I come up with?

You know who you are…

I’ve finished the hard copy edits of Sanguire.  Today I start working backwards through the manuscript — ala Holly Lisle’s ‘One Pass Edit’ process — to guarantee one physical sense on every page.

How far have you gotten?

I’m delighted to announce the re-release of Facing Evil. With a few changes, and added poetry, this newer version of Facing Evil embodies a much sleeker and more refined story. I am very appreciative and pleased with what PD Publishing has done to bring this captivating story back to life. For all those involved at PD Publishing (and a special shout out to Day), I graciously tip my hat to you. Thanks to everyone that purchased the initial release, I appreciate your patience and continuous support.

For those of you who don’t know the story, a short synopsis; A serial killer stalks the police officer that almost brought him to justice. Haunted by her failure, Detective Abby Stanfield retreats to a mountain resort where she meets Sarah Murphy, the beautiful woman in the cabin next door. What follows is a string of events that will have both women fighting for their love and their very survival.

CL Hart

www.clhart.com

…of which I am now a paying member.

There’s a group of folks at work who have a ‘Lard Ass Club.’  Every so often they get together, have an official weigh-in, and pay their dues.  Thirty bucks.  I have three months to lose weight in any fashion I choose.  At the final weigh-in, I’ll get back a buck per pound lost.  The remainder of the pot will go to whoever has lost the most weight.

I think there are nine or ten of us, so that works out to a pot near three hundred dollars. I’ll just be happy to make my thirty back.

But it would be cool to take the pot!  LOL!

In honor of my membership, I did some stomach crunches and leg lifts this morning.  Not many, believe me!  After surgery on my ear, I was on ultra-light duty for weeks.  Then business slowed to a trickle.  I haven’t had much work out time on the floor.  And that’s going to change soon, as I’m transferring into another department that’s more sedentary.

Thank the gods I can use the hotel health club!

Besides, up until now, I’ve used my job as a means to keep moving.  My arthritis isn’t going to go away, and this transfer (and LAC) will force me to take responsibility for my own health.  I have got to keep moving while I can!

That’s what I’ve been doing the last two days.  On Azrael’s Wings sits at the publisher, so I had my Sanguire novel printed and bound last week.  I’ve gone through it, putting in my beta readers’ comments, and am now doing a line by line edit.

I’ve gotten about a third of the way through.

Next up will be the final typing.  This thing will get to a SF publisher this year!