Beginning of chapter five:

The following day was spent packing for the upcoming journey. When all was ready, the Third Army had three dozen wagons of supplies and bounty. Fortunately for Idonatra, the arms master did indeed have space for many of the weapons, lightening the load considerably from the smithy.

Not many changes, again just the cutting and rewriting to narrow a scene to one POV. While it gains depth from one person’s view, it loses it from another’s. I hope to eventually even it out in the long run.

Toward the end of this chapter, Azrael is moving into the next stage of ‘training’ Ursula. Considering her position as a general and slave owner, it’s not easy to give her character something the reader can connect with. I don’t want to alienate the reader, but Azrael is harsh and at this stage of the game, she doesn’t really give a damn for Ursula.

Azrael backed out of the kiss, amused at Ursula’s attempt to prolong it. It was too soon, however. Ursula no doubt had nothing but painful experiences to draw upon out here in the far reaches of the kingdom. She needed a slow introduction of what pleasure two women could derive from one another. Azrael pulled away, momentarily adopting a stern expression to remind Ursula her place.

A flicker of fear crossed Ursula’s eyes. Her face remained flushed and she swallowed hard as Azrael traced her lips with warm fingers.

“Very nice,” Azrael complimented, a smile creeping across her face as Ursula’s blush deepened. “I can’t wait to taste all of you.”

Ursula blinked once, her expression one of soft confusion as she tried to make the connection. Azrael’s hand still strayed in Ursula’s lap, her thumb dipping to scrape inner thighs. Ursula flushed a blistering red as she comprehended the innuendo.

Fascinated at the spark of passion that flickered and disappeared from Ursula’s face, Azrael gave the thigh a gentle pinch and pushed her off. “Go to bed, Ursula. We march at first light.”

“Yes, Milady.”

Was that disappointment in her tone? Azrael watched her lithe form, catching a hint of wonder as Ursula touched her lips. She sighed, wishing the seduction took less time. But it was better to train Ursula to her bed than break her in the process.

Beginning of chapter four:

For the remainder of the morning Azrael checked guard posts. She scared the stuffing out of a number of Atol’s men on the perimeter, each wondering if she’d heard rumor of further laxity in their cohort. Voices trembled slightly as they gave challenge and received the password, chins thrust out in determination to prove their captain an able officer despite the previous day’s incident.

Not many changes to this chapter. Just tightening up and correcting ponts of view. This chapter is completely Azrael's POV.