Or Words to Describe my Writing These Days.

It’s not like the ideas aren’t there. I’ve got a list of over fifty story lines to draw upon for material, ranging in possibilites from short PWPs to a couple of potential trilogies.

It’s not like I don’t have a current project to work on. Orphan Maker’s gathering dust on my hard drive. I have no furking clue what comes next. (The same thing happened with a cyberpunk story a few years ago, Kou Itten. It’s half completed because I can’t figure out what the following scenes and chapters should be.)

It’s not like I don’t have the time. I’ve had a full week off work through Christmas. I can only account for three of those days as celebratory in nature and, hence, non-writing days. The rest of the time was spent . . . dinking around. Cruising the web, researching daydreams, chatting with friends, posting on my Voyageresque RPG, and fiddling with the ship’s website.

My 2005 Goals haven’t been met (but to be fair, neither were all of my 2004 goals.)

• I have not written a thousand words a day; not even close. My word count is through the roof because I’ve put in my editing word counts, but those are similar to empty calories. Seventy thousand plus words in two days? It feels like cheating.

• I haven’t written six short stories for the year. I’ve gotten three and a half done. So over fifty percent there. (Added bonus, one was published in Telltale Kisses!)

• I did finish Iditarod like I planned. WOOT!

• I haven’t completed edits for On Azrael’s Wings. I’m only a third of the way through them, and have about fourteen more scenes to write from scratch, let alone edit the remaining material.

• I haven’t even looked at my Sanguire series. No, that’s a lie. I looked at it last week. I know some of you have read it, and I’m not saying this to get a bunch of responses, but I really ddn’t like the writing. It’s stilted. I couldn’t get past the first three chapters before putting it down in disgust. Earlier in the year I spent the time going over my beta readers’ notes and came up with a beefier outline, but I haven’t bothered with it since.

I think a lot of these feelings have to do with the task of getting my books republished . . . again. In 2004, I published two books and republished a second edition of Tiopa Ki Lakota through Fortitude. In 2005, I found myself going through the same three books all over again to be published with PD Publishing. While it’s gratifying as hel to not be out of print anymore, it was a hassle and a half to focus mostly on manuscripts that had been a done deal.

So, I know it was really a lot of work . . . but it feels like I’ve accomplished next to nothing this year. groan

I’ve spent a lot of time away from Forward Motion over the last couple of years. My circle of friends does consist of a few writers, but we never seem to really connect on a writing level. We talk about our lives and loves, pass around those silly quizes and the like, but never get into the meat and bones of writing. (Or it could be me. I’ve always been very standoffish and untrusting. I seem to have an innate ability to close off communication with people without even realizing I’m doing so.)

I think it’s time to return Forward Motion. (Hey !) Maybe it’ll give me the kick in the pants to get a move on. It certainly gave me a boost when I first discovered it a few years ago.

Hope everyone is having a great season this year! Yule has been wonderful and we’re prepping for a houseful to descend upon us and have a delicious dinner. Ham, turkey, all the fixings, pumpkin cheesecake and pies, mmmmmmm!

Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, and spectacular Yule everybody!

Even if I was up until 3:30 this morning!

Yesterday morning we opened our presents. Woot! I got the Song of Ice and Fire series by George R. R. Martin, and the first season DVDs of Smallville! My wife got an expensive set of professional pans and one of those Magic 8 Balls. LOL! She loves the 8 ball more than the pans, I think!

Another great gift came in the mail . . . my author copies of Warlord Metal! YAY! They look fantastic! Steph Solomon-Lopez did a killer job with the graphics!

A downstairs neighobr came up to cook dinner for us. He really enjoys cooking and trying out new recipes, but he lives alone. So he comes to our kitchen, and has fun feeding himself, us and another neighbor down the hall who’s unable to cook for himself. It’s pretty cool. Last night was a chicken/tater tot casserole. Definitely interesting, and very good.

We lit the Yule candle at sunset and between my wife and I, we held vigil until sunrise this morning. Then we both put the candle out. Welcome back, Sun!

Today’s a lazy day. (Like I haven’t had enough of them! LOL!) Just puttering around the house, cleaning up stuff, getting geared up for the feast day. Saturday will be prep work and laundry, Sunday will be stockings and friends and food. Tomrrow we’re going to see The Chronicles of Narnia, get our hairs cut, and run some errands.

I’ve been fooling around with my website some more today . . . mainly going over the added features I get through my webhost, Dreamhost. The Trek RPG I belong to has recently picked up their own website through Dreamhost. I’m fiddling with some of the features to see how we can augment our new website. Maybe we’ll break completely away from Yahoo and run it entirely on our own . . . who knows?

Spent the morning updating my website. In particular, correcting the information and links on the pages about my books, adding a review on Tiopa (thanks, Elaine!) and checking the links in my sidebar.

Tonight’s Mother’s Night. Tonight is when the membrane between the worlds of the living and the dead are at their finest. Tonight is the night for staying in, reconnecting with the living and loving members of your family, and enjoying memories of those who have gone before us. My wife and I plan on a nice candlelit dinner, lots of closeness, and a walk through the apartment building to see what our neigbors have done for decorations this year.

Technically, you’re not supposed to work on this day, but I think it all revolves around your definition of ‘work.’ I’ve already been working on the website. I plan on getting dishes done today, and maybe getting the last of the lights up in the living room. And a nap. Can’t forget the nap! LOL!

I’ve the next week off. If I do any writing, I think I’ll return to On Azrael’s Wings edits. Or maybe I’ll reread Iditarod. I know I’ve said I wouldn’t publish that one, but I’ve gotten a LOT of comments on it . . . I’ll have to go back over it to see, though.

To my friends, stay safe tonight. Spend a little extra time with each other. I’ll be online later this evening.

To my readers, take care. Tomorrow is Yule (a.k.a. Solstice,) a whole ‘nother holiday!

I’ve been remiss. People are wondering if I’m still breathing. I am! I am!

Busy, busy, busy at work. Despite that, the most exhausting thing is the constant shifting between days and swings. I have to cover the manager’s days off, and still cover the swing shift as much as possible. Six days last week. I’ve got two more to go before a blissful five plus day weekend.

Today I begin to clean house and put up the decorations. On the morning of the 19th, I do the door decorations for the annual contest in our apartment complex. Still top secret until I get it out there. Then I’ll spill the beans.

Tuesday is Mother’s Night. My wife and I plan a quiet evening together, candlelit dinner, and then a stroll through the building to see the other door decorations. Wednesday is Yule, and I’ll be up all night in vigil.

Went to my rheumatologist last week to discuss beginning the clinical trials we talked about earlier. Bummer! I’m not eligible! I have no pain and no joints swollen! Too bad, huh? YAY! Even the joints in my hand that have remained swollen throughout the last two years have gone down! (As you can imagine, I’m crushed.)

Sent out Yule cards. To those reading this who got one, the cards are part of this year’s theme for us. Now you might have some idea what our door decoration will be! LOL!

Got the Yule shopping complete. (Thank gods for mail order.) I spent one afternoon out and about on errands to pick up the last of it for my wife, and it’s wrapped and sitting on my desk now. Yes . . . my form of torture. The gifts are in plain sight. Also got a box shipped out to my best friend, which thankfully arrived yesterday in California.

No writing to be had. I’m sort of stuck with Orphan Maker. It’s gone into an area I have no outline for. I’m not sure what’s going to happen next. I read it during those few bouts of free time last week, and I like it, but I haven’t had any time to concentrate on the characters. I know the story will eventually get to where I want it to go, but it’s gone on a detour and I need a road map!

Warlord Metal is officially out! YAY! I should be getting my author copies on Yule. What a great present for the holiday!

What else? Not much, really. The desk’s a mess, the house is filthy, I’ve got guests coming on the 25th for the feast. We’ve had something near thirty days of record lows, so my long johns have been getting a lot of use. Since Mother’s Night is a day of rest, I’ve got to whip everything into shape TODAY, since I work the next two. Ugh!

How’s everybody else?

Pandora ROCKS! Thanks, trollprincess . . . I think.

Thank gods. 2537 words today, chapter twenty-nine of Orphan Maker is complete. My outline has gone the way of the dodo bird, though, which has been part of my hang up. Getting too invested in these outlines it seems. If I open up the document these days, I don’t even bother with my Shadow program. Not seeing how much I’m deviating from the outline has helped me get more writing done, oddly enough.

I don’t know about the next three weeks, however. These are the busiest times in my day job, and I expect to be working a lot of overtime (like I’ve been doing all last month.) I checked my records, though. I started Orphan Maker in mid-June. If I complete it by January 12th, I’ll have pumped it out in six months. Nowhere near the word counts that S.L. Viehl or Holly Lisle put out, but not bad for a small time pipsqueak like myself.

I’m expecting my copies of Warlord Metal any time now. Edits are complete, as is typesetting. Can’t wait to get my hands on a copy with the new cover! Story hasn’t changed a whole hel of a lot, though.

I’ve had lots of comments on Iditarod since it’s been finished. Glad everyone’s enjoying it so much. I’ve even had folks wondering if I’d publish it, but I don’t know. It’s a fluff piece, written more to draw attention to the website than for publication. The romance is pretty inconsequential overall, the main conflict being the race – not that there’s really much conflict there either. It’s been so long since I posted a story online, though, I thought it was time to remind people I was still here.

What else? Not much, really. When I’m not working or sleeping, I’m spending my spare time cruising around Second Life. If anybody reading this has checked it out, give Corby Bjornson a call. That’s my avatar name there. (Corby’s the name of my Starfleet RPG character, and the last name is actually from a list I was given by Second Life.)

Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy your Turkey Day!

2044 words finally written! Woot! I expect I’ll be writing more the next week or so. Part of my problem is the new shift (which isn’t a problem now that I’m back on swings for awhile.)

I wish I had a Powerbook! My Palm keyboard doesn’t have a Dvorak driver, so I can’t use it to write on. When I get off work, I go home and get distracted by chores, the internet, Second Life, chatting . . . If I had a mobile computer option, I could get some writing done immediately after work.

I don’t know that I’ll finish Orphan Maker before the end of the year, but here’s hoping. It’d be cool to have finished two books in one year again. Haven’t done that in some time.

Been pretty busy at work and at home to write or post. I’ll admit, some of it is an annoying addiction to Second Life, but the work front has been exhausting. The holiday season are both our busiest and laziest times of the year.

Orycon totally rocked, of course. I had a blast and went to many panels (writing oriented.) Learned some good stuff. I think there’s a 60% chance they’ll come back next year. My fellow associates kicked butt in wowing the attendees this year. There were very few hassles and only one pain in the butt issue (slow elevators.) The event manager in charge went on vacation, so negotiations are on hold until she gets back. Here’s hoping!

Then I worked another seven days in a row. Our biggest and busiest convention of the year is on Veteran’s Day weekend. So what happens? The other supervisor resigns his position and one of our less dependable associates called off. So, we were two people short, and I had to swap in the middle of the week to swing shifts to cover. Ugh. Twelve hour days (and nights) ain’t fun, but it could have been much worse. Had yesterday off, worked a swing last night, have today off, and tomorrow I’m back to days. Next week, though, I’m on nights.

During some of that down time, I’ve reread Orphan Maker and think I have a good idea where to go next. It’s dropping off my outline and I had to let it sit and stew for a bit, since I didn’t know where it was going. It’ll get to my planned ending, I know, it’s just taking its own sweet time getting there.

Also went over Warlord Metal again, the final .pdf for PD Publishing. That should pretty much be the last of THAT one. Again. LOL! It should be out this month. I’ve been through the initial editing of Castle Walls, but that’s not due out until next summer, so I don’t know when I’ll get the next round.

Second Life

I made the mistake of downloading it yesterday . . . UGH! Who wants to play the Sims when you can interact with Sim-like folks in real time?

grumble

I need a better connection.

I need a better computer.

I MUST WRITE INSTEAD

Got into Orlando around 5pm on Thursday the 20th. Had a decent enough flight. Found Disney’s Magic Express with some ease and headed to the resort. When we walked into Coronado Springs, the first person I saw was Dee Robinson, so that was pretty cool. Gave her a big hug and introduced her to my wife.

We had tickets for Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party that night. Had just enough time to get checked in, drop our luggage and head out to Magic Kingdom. Had a fun time. Got to see the stuff we rarely see when visiting Disneyland – the Cindrella Celebration and a parade. Somehow we always miss those in California. Had dinner at the Liberty Tree Tavern. Had no idea it was a character dining experience until Pluto came up and licked me. EW! Then Chip fed my wife from her plate. She wouldn’t take a second bite and he tried to offer it to me. Oh, and Minnie kissed me on the head. I’ll never wash my hair again. (Sound familiar, ?)

Next morning we went back to Magic Kingdom to see the stuff we hadn’t gotten to the night before. Then made it to the Meet and Greet at the pool. That was a blast. Saw Capt Skip and said howdy. Don’t know why, but we live in the same town and have to travel thousands of miles to run into each other. I found a shady spot and staked it out, much to Blayne Cooper’s dismay. (Maybe it wasn’t a blush the next day when Renee read Madam President but sunburn?) Sat in an ever changing crowd of folks until it started raining. Then we huddled under the table umbrella with the die hards (Blayne, SX Meagher, Dagmar, Lori, and Barb. We ooohed and aaahed over SX’s ‘waterproof’ bag (which Blayne poured water out of.) When the rain mellowed out enough, Lori, Dagmar and myself slogged back to the hotel. I had to buy shoes at the gift shop because mine were soaked. I knew I’d be freezing in the hotel AC the next day withOUT wet feet. I didn’t want to become an icicle!

Didn’t get ‘stage fright’ until I showed up at the convention door the next morning. My wife slept in and I ended up breakfasting with Lori, Terrie, and Rosa (who were at the pool) and a another who’s name I didn’t catch. I bailed early (cuz you know I’m such a social butterfly,) but Lori busted me hovering outside the ballroom cuz I was getting nervous. LOL! Finally went in a few moments before the doors opened and introduced myself to my publisher.

I had a good time, even with the Round Robin. Being able to hear had a LOT to do with it, I’m sure. Last time I attended, the gadget I was using wasn’t that good and I really didn’t want the spotlight because of it. This time, however, I had a lot more confidence going in. But I’ll never follow SX Meagher in a Round Robin again, man! I’d get there, she’d have the table laughing at some story or other, I’d chase her away and sit down, and we’d stare at one another. LOL! Okay, maybe it wasn’t that bad, but it felt like it sometimes. I’m very glad I volunteered to do the Round Robin, and had a decent time regardless of the attention. (Thank gods it only lasted an hour and a half.)

Met Kim Pritekel. She was more nervous than I was. LOL! This was her first such con, so she had no idea what to expect. Her Round Robin was in the second half, and I sat at a table to participate. She seems like a nice person. Got to make duck and run when I attempted a hug. It’s about time we met in person! (Still waiting to meet and .)

Somebody whipped through the PD table to get my autograph (“Make it to Sandra O’Connor.”) A little while later, Linda Crist showed up with the book and said, “You need to add ‘Renee’ here.” * Gulp * “I do?” So I did. After she left, I told my publisher that THAT was scarier than sending Tiopa Ki Lakota to my mother! I would have joined Blayne Cooper in the hall had Renee picked that book to read from. Guaranteed!

Renee’s reading was entertaining. Kim Pritekel had said earlier that signing autographs was surreal. (Which it is, I might add.) I’d imagine being Renee O’Connor that afternoon had to be, too. She read bits and pieces from The Headmistress, Madame President, Accidental Love, The Bluest Eyes of Texas, and some others. (She has a decidedly wicked chuckle, I might add.) It’s one thing to be onstage at a convention for a television show you were part of. What must it be like for her to be in a room of nearly two hundred folks who’ve taken her TV character, created an archtype out of it, and written that character into any number of situations, all of which are romantic and lesbian in nature? It boggles my mind, really. (I don’t even know if I’m explaining myself well enough – the thoughts haven’t coalesced into any solid pattern, yet.)

Afterwards, went to dinner with a horde of folks. The Maya Grill at the Coronado sucked. No one would answer the phones to take reservations, though we tried every which way to do it. Therefore, they had no place to seat us all, and we had to spread out to three tables to accomodate everybody. I sat with my wife, a couple of friends, and my editor – Cindy Cresap.

My wife and I had planned on going to Pleasure Island that night. I had no idea the talent show wasn’t an extra charge. When I realized I’d be allowed in, I opted out and she went to dance alone. (To be honest, she’d be dancing alone, anyway. We both know this.) I’m glad I went to the talent show. Who knew Denise could sing? Wow! And Lauren’s got a hel of a voice, too! The Touch Myself skit was hilarious, as were the . . . Sublimes? I’ll never look at Tina Turner the same way again, Dee!

Sunday I chickened out and didn’t go to the breakfast. (But if you went to the con, you know that.) We went to Epcot, instead. Bought a couple of Mickey slickers and carried them all over the park, just in case. It was hot and muggy, but overcast. We ate our way around the world, rode the Maelstrom, bought gifts, and had a decent time. Only saw a handful of Xenites there in the afternoon (Hi, Marina!) Had escargot from France, a buffet dinner at the BierGarten in Germany, meade from Ireland, and various foods from Chile, Austrailia, Singapore, Scandinavia, and Canada. Caught Jefferson Starship’s act, and also saw a Canadian band called Off Kilter twice. They were a hoot. When we headed into Soarin’, it was dry. When we got out, it was pouring. I heard later that the Bardcon dessert party ended up in the Living Seas exhibit, which was boarded up and closed to the general public because of Wilma’s impending visit.

The next morning, all Disney transportation was shut down, all parks were closed, and we were advised to remain in the resort. We had had Hoop De Doo tickets for that evening, and had a hel of a time cancelling them. (The same thing happenened as with the Maya Grill on Saturday . . . nobody would answer the phones.) Spent the morning napping and reading. Chip and Dale showed up at the hotel to entertain the kids, and the hotel also put on a screening of several movies in one of their meeting rooms. The storm wasn’t that bad in our neck of the woods.

By afternoon, transportation was running again and two parks were open. We had planned on Animal Kingdom on Monday, but they remained closed for the day. So was Disney MGM. We headed back to Epcot for a couple of hours to get out of the hotel. Anna wanted to pick up something from Japan. Most of the little food kiosks were closed, but some of the snack areas were open, so I pigged out on junk. Wandered by the Beach Boys’ act, and saw Off Kilter again. (I really like those guys! But then I’m a sucker for bagpipes, too.) My wife had dinner at the Maya Grill alone. (I really don’t like the Maya Grill.)

That night we packed up. Left early the following morning. Checked our carry ons with the bell staff and got our boarding passes. After a breakfast buffet at the hotel, we headed out to catch the opening of Animal Kingdom. If you ever get there to see the Festival of the Lion King, DO! It was great! We pretty much went everywhere we wanted to go before we had to leave to pick up our transport. Rode to the airport with a friend.

Once in Houston, we said good bye (I think for the sixth time) to our friend and went to our gate. Four hours later, we were home.

All in all, it was a wonderful vacation despite Wilma. Thanks to all the Bardcon staff for showing us a great time! I’m really sorry there won’t be another.

Just haven’t had the time or inclination to write, I guess. Too busy hugging my experiences in Orlando to my chest to share. LOL! I’ll post a run down of my vacation (and Wilma’s visit) next.

Another reason for the silence is ORYCON!! The hotel they usually have it in dumped ‘em this year and they’re downtown this year. At my hotel! W00T! After I got back from Orlando, I worked seven days in a row to have this coming weekend off. Attended operaional and pre-convention meetings with the hotel staff and the con committee, ran around and made certain everything was as good as we could get it for their arrival, and answered a few emails from the committee.

I really hope we wow them and they choose us next year. The hotel they’ve been at for the last 17 years is out in the sticks. Buses stop running by 10:30pm, but it’s a late night con with activities going until midnight or 1am. Have to shell out the bucks to stay in the con hotel if I want to see everything. Plus it’s usually held on the same weekend we have a BIG annual convention at our hotel. I haven’t been able to get the time off to attend for years because of this, so I’m pretty glad to be going this time around.

The final chapters of Iditarod are up.

I’m off to Bardcon in Orlando. Here’s hoping Wilma takes a siesta. See you all next week!

My wife’s taking a class that requires a survey. She’s asked that I put the questions here and, if you’re so inclined, answer them and email them to her at aredhawk at easystreet dot com. Women only (it’s called a Women and Commitment Survey) and all answers are optional and anonymous.

1) How old are you?

2) What is your ethnicity?

3) Are you currently in a committed relationship? (If no, move to question #6.)

4) How long have you been in this relationship?

5) Rate your relationship satisfaction on a scale of 1 – 10.

5a) Why did you give this rating?

6) Name three to five qualities found in a committed relationship:

7) Name three to five qualities that may BLOCK the development of a committed relationship:

How do committed relationships differ from non-committed (casual, fling) relationships?

9) What is your religious view and how does it impact your relationships?

10) Any additional comments?

Thanks to all who respond!