In Shadows

Or Words to Describe my Writing These Days.

It’s not like the ideas aren’t there. I’ve got a list of over fifty story lines to draw upon for material, ranging in possibilites from short PWPs to a couple of potential trilogies.

It’s not like I don’t have a current project to work on. Orphan Maker’s gathering dust on my hard drive. I have no furking clue what comes next. (The same thing happened with a cyberpunk story a few years ago, Kou Itten. It’s half completed because I can’t figure out what the following scenes and chapters should be.)

It’s not like I don’t have the time. I’ve had a full week off work through Christmas. I can only account for three of those days as celebratory in nature and, hence, non-writing days. The rest of the time was spent . . . dinking around. Cruising the web, researching daydreams, chatting with friends, posting on my Voyageresque RPG, and fiddling with the ship’s website.

My 2005 Goals haven’t been met (but to be fair, neither were all of my 2004 goals.)

* I have not written a thousand words a day; not even close. My word count is through the roof because I’ve put in my editing word counts, but those are similar to empty calories. Seventy thousand plus words in two days? It feels like cheating.

* I haven’t written six short stories for the year. I’ve gotten three and a half done. So over fifty percent there. (Added bonus, one was published in Telltale Kisses!)

* I did finish Iditarod like I planned. WOOT!

* I haven’t completed edits for On Azrael’s Wings. I’m only a third of the way through them, and have about fourteen more scenes to write from scratch, let alone edit the remaining material.

* I haven’t even looked at my Sanguire series. No, that’s a lie. I looked at it last week. I know some of you have read it, and I’m not saying this to get a bunch of responses, but I really ddn’t like the writing. It’s stilted. I couldn’t get past the first three chapters before putting it down in disgust. Earlier in the year I spent the time going over my beta readers’ notes and came up with a beefier outline, but I haven’t bothered with it since.

I think a lot of these feelings have to do with the task of getting my books republished . . . again. In 2004, I published two books and republished a second edition of Tiopa Ki Lakota through Fortitude. In 2005, I found myself going through the same three books all over again to be published with PD Publishing. While it’s gratifying as hel to not be out of print anymore, it was a hassle and a half to focus mostly on manuscripts that had been a done deal.

So, I know it was really a lot of work . . . but it feels like I’ve accomplished next to nothing this year. *groan*

I’ve spent a lot of time away from Forward Motion over the last couple of years. My circle of friends does consist of a few writers, but we never seem to really connect on a writing level. We talk about our lives and loves, pass around those silly quizes and the like, but never get into the meat and bones of writing. (Or it could be me. I’ve always been very standoffish and untrusting. I seem to have an innate ability to close off communication with people without even realizing I’m doing so.)

I think it’s time to return Forward Motion. (Hey !) Maybe it’ll give me the kick in the pants to get a move on. It certainly gave me a boost when I first discovered it a few years ago.